januar, 2021

Flicking the bean and cock strangling

Her-O

A strangeled cock

According to some reports, boys masturbate for the first time when they are 12 years old. Most of the time, they don’t even know what they’re doing, they just follow the movements of pleasure. Some have been wandering in ignorance of what their body is capable of and where these pleasant feelings come from for a few years before or even later.

Progressively oriented mothers, of course, talk shamelessly with their sons about this. You know John, sometimes it happens that if you touch your penis, something will sting under your belly, as if ants are crawling into your panties. This is perfectly normal.

Even in their mature years, men regularly masturbate. At the same time, many descriptions were used during the description of the act. All of them are very technically clear and the jargon is quite artisanal. Wenk, jack off, fap, strangle, grind, rub, jerk off … and some more vulgar. Cock, friend, lower head, snake, anaconda… depending of course on what you most identify with.

Masturbation is completely accepted with men. Both during adolescence and throughout adult life. For singles, married, divorced, gay or straight, … It is just a part of male culture, it is healthy, natural and normal. It comes along with the penis. Along with a set of words and metaphors that more or less vividly describe masturbation.

We are open to everything. In the background of this openness, however, we began to push respectful conversations about intimacy, feelings, fantasies, longings,(self) satisfaction, physical and mental.

Flicking the bean

What about the girls?

You know, Anna, when you climb the rope in 7th grade in physical education, it can happen that you pay more attention to the pleasant feeling that the rope causes between your legs than to the effort.

Well, of course there was no such conversation. Luckily, because out of shame I would sink to the floor. however, rope climbing has become my favorite part of physical education. Why it is so pleasant only became clear to me over time.

From those pleasant moments of physical education, quite some time has passed to regular masturbation. I didn’t talk to anyone about it and there was no need for that either. Sure, it’s something intimate, something of mine, something that I might be ashamed of?

Sex is everywhere, sex is everything

When I was growing up, sexuality was taught mainly focusing on protection against unwanted pregnancy, prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, and sex as penetration.

What, maybe you know another one? Masturbation was mentioned only as a boy’s “task”.

Of course, times are different today. And sex is everywhere, sex is everything.

For several years now, it seems to me that there has been a severe pornification of intimacy and views on sex. If it may once have been true: tell me who you’re having sex with and I’ll tell you who you are. Today it’s more appropriate: tell me how you talk about sex and I’ll tell you who you are.

Taboos seem to fall, everything is allowed, everything is tolerated, sex empowers us all. We are open to everything. In the background of this openness, however, we began to push respectful conversations about intimacy, feelings, fantasies, longings,(self) satisfaction, physical and mental.

That alone is the real sex we should be talking about. With words that need to be stripped off a vulgar or perhaps even giggling connotation.

So- let’s talk about sex!

There must be something wrong with you!

Her-O

»It's never happened before that I'd make so much effort and a woman still wouldn't cum. Something is obviously wrong with you.« That's something a man once said to me. Today our relationship status is 'friends' – with no benefits.

While I was lying next to him feeling quite happy and lovely, I have to admit that his words shocked and hurt me. I am not even sure wheather I wanted to discuss that at a time, instantaneously my thoughts took me to a place far away and I knew that I never again wanted to be in a relationship where I would have to cope with such comments. This event grounded me in a way that I became aware of the importance of enlightening and discussing about the topic of sexuality and the woman’s body.

I am not sure if this happend with the birth of internet and endless amounts of easily accessible pornographic contents, but I think that sex (as we know it from porn) for many (especially young people) became sort of how sexuality, relations and intercourse look like in real life. Have parents and the school system really failed to such extent that the porn industry is the only example of sex that we can learn from? Where women are taken as subordinate objects, masked with make up, without any cellulite, skinny, shaved, all humble and sweet… Where you find only fake sex and staged lovemaking.

What message does young people who are growing up percieve through that? What kind of body and beauty standards are these contents advocating? How does all this infulence our partnership and sexuality?

An even greater problem create media and popular culture, that presents women in a completely unreal image. How many teenagers, due to the desire to please, develop eating disorders, a low self-esteem and succumb to various plastic operations? That kind of mentallity can drive you insane – when percieving yourself through the eyes of media and popular culture we all could find something to be done or our bodies. All those filters on social media platforms, retouched images of celebrities and influencers are deleting the reality of our bodies. They do not allow unclear skin, unshaved legs, pimples, bags under our eyes and curves – except if they are extremely concentrated on our buttocks.

Nobody is perfect. What is perfection? Perfection is a subjective phenomenon. Every set of eyes have a different idea about it.

Therefore it’s clear: All the retouched and artificial instagram stories and posts cannot present a real body and lifestyle and no one can really identify oneself with them.

We get caught in a loop of desires when seeing exciting lifes as lived by the »people« on social media. These lives are distant, played out and fake. Often we feel as if our lives are boring in comparison with theirs.

We forgot the importance of individuality. Our interests, passions and specialities are the things that make us interesting and unique. That real Beauty means to accept yourself the way you are and through that you can achieve the feeling of empowerment and satisfaction.

So powerfully self-aware our beauty shines in a much greater extent. Others can see that we are much more contented with ourselves and that we are not affected by trends, which are impossible to keep up with anyway and give us no true satisfaction. These trends keep us in a constant effort of chasing the next higher goal and they force us to be something that mainstream society wants us to be.
All this leaves us empty and endlessly uncontended because this sort of behaviour does not address our true selves but something what is collectively percieved as aesthetical.

All this came to me the moment I was told that there is something wrong either with me or with my body. In that moment I knew that the next person I will share intimacy with will respect my wishes about my body and wouldn’t constantly directly od indirectly push me towards situations that make me uncomfortable and sad. That person will see that I enjoy and love also when »I don’t cum« and because of that he wouldn’t feel less of himself, not capable or less »manly«.

Often I ask myself to what extend men really know our bodies? How do we know them ourselves? Many times I felt as if there is something wrong with me or with my body or that I am doing or understanding something wrong. Conversing with girlfriends, reading blogs and articles gave me an affirmation that everything that I’m going through is perfectly normal.

Today I know that many women never experience orgasm. Others can reach it only through masturbation. Some don’t get it with penetration but only with some other kind of stimulation …

Before I have done this research I felt as If I was the only one with these feelings. I wish now that I would have been taught about these topics in my teens.

It’s clear to me now there is no recipe or rule. When this knowledge truly reached me I could release some blockages and fears. I could take a deep breath.
Each body is unique and responds differently to various stimulus, their intensity and approach. We women need tenderness and attention, that are often much more important than sex and orgasm.

We women need tenderness and attention, that are often much more important than sex and orgasm.

I feel much more embraced when I look my partner in the eyes and know that I am truly accepted and that he loves me and wants to make me happy. Sex and intercourse is then only a cherry on top of the pie.

Once you truly accept yourself you can completely let go and only then will the right person come into your life. Person who will know that porn is fake sex and that only people who respect and care for each other, can truly love.

And no, there is nothing wrong with me!

Penis- The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Her-O

Ever since it has accompanied men, it is clear that the penis is more than just a part of the body. A walk through history shows us the divine cult of penis worship and phallicity.

THE GOOD

A few years ago finding in Germany suprised researchers. They discovered the oldest phallic depiction to date. It is a 19 cm high and almost 3 cm wide precisely shaped stone in the shape of a phallus. Its use is not precisely defined, but scientists do not rule out that it may also have served as a sex tool. The age of the finding is estimated at about 28,000 years.

Slightly younger cave depictions of the erectile penis, as symbol of life, are also known. They are interpreted as if the phallus represents the creator of the Universe.

We are aware that different people throughout history have depicted male genitals very vividly and more or less explicitly.

For instance- the ancient Egyptians recognized fertility in the erectile image of the penis. The god of fertility was also exemplified by Osiris, whose legend says that his posthumous parts were scattered throughout Egypt; except for the penis, which was eaten by a fish.

Nevertheless, Osiris’ wife managed to collect the parts and revive him. Instead of a lost penis, she gave him a wooden replica. Myth tells us, that she was even supposed to conceive successfully.

One of the earliest Egyptian deities, Min, the so-called itiphalic creature, was depicted with a huge upright penis held in his hands.

It’s well known that the ancient Greeks did not hide their enthusiasm for sexuality.

So it was no surprise when a pile of penises was discovered during an archaeological excavation of ancient Pompeii.

Even today, the condition of painful and prolonged erections is called “priapism”. The term derives from the name of the Greek god of fertility, Priapus, who is depicted with a disproportionately large penis. Priapus is said to have even had his own cult in Pompeii, and above all, many depicted statues of phallic shapes were discovered at his expense. Chimneys, bells, knockers… all in erect penis shape.

A mosaic of a young man holding an upright erectile penis was discovered in a Roman toilet in Turkey. It is said to be Narcissus, only in this depiction his attention is completely focused on his upright phallus.

The dynamics of depicting phalluses in ancient Greece and Rome were quite diverse.

The Greek connection with aesthetics dictated the depiction of smaller phalluses. Wide shoulders, strong breasts, light complexion and a small penis. This was the ancient Greek aesthetic ideal. Large penises were considered grotesque.

Zeus and Poseidon, both depicted with perfect athletic bodies, also have a perfect crotch, a perfectly sculpted smaller penis, and anatomically almost too perfect testicles.

What all these depictions mean is certainly subject to many psychoanalytic and historical interpretations. It is clear that the phallus has historically been associated with fertility. Without it life ends, so the penis as such is also the creator of life. The sky-reaching penile body is associated with uprightness and even integrity. For the ancient Greeks, it may indicate a homoerotic atmosphere or even a mockery of their own mythology.

The cult of penis worship certainly reached its peak in Asia and on the Indian subcontinent. Shiva, the supreme god in Shivaism, is most often worshiped as a lingam. It is a complex phallic symbol representing the original energy.

Complex esoterics, however, is also behind the extensive phallus worship in Bhutan. Explicitly depicted penises are a typical totem of good energy when moving into a new home. According to the Bhutanese belief, a unique relic of wooden penises cares for the well-being, health and peace in the family.

THE BAD

With the entry into the Middle Ages, the body lost its permission for pleasures and all its once worshiped attributes were forbidden, punished and disgraced. At least that was the way to make an impression in the eyes of the public. Lust has become dangerous, and the temptation was probably only stronger fort he same reason.

The church took control of the Law and people’s life. The so-called theological penis developed. The clergy taught that the purpose of sex was reproduction and the pleasure associated with it was negligible. Mentality that persists somewhere even today, in the Middle Ages taught that masturbation was a sin. Touching and exploring your own body is a ticket to hell.

Perhaps the most famous phallic depiction of that time is the so called Phallus Tree.

It is a motif depicting a tree with phalluses arranged across all it’s branches. The phalluses are shown in a variety of sizes, all in an erectile state and some even include the scrotum.

The phallus tree is a famous motif of that time in Western Europe. Its meaning is usually interpreted as the link between infertility and impotence on the one hand, and witchcraft and even Satanism on the other.

THE UGLY

Today, we can find explicit images of the male genitalia at every turn. The first sketches on freshly fallen snow, that well-known one-way outline on public and school toilets,… And uninvited messages, the so-called dick picks in the inbox, as an expression of modern flirting :/

Its value is often reduced to a “male joystick” or a feminist antithesis. The penis has also become a manifest organ of patriarchal society. All this negative and banalized connotation, however, deprives him of the altar value he once assigned.

Let's again worship phalluses!

Let us return these upright deities to our shelves, worshiping them as an ancient connection between man and woman. As a symbol of human life and connection with nature. Like a fluid life that changes form every day but is always in balance. It encourages us to rise upright when we fall and comforts us that even if we are not always full of power, it is nothing serious, as life is balance. Life is the constantly in changing.

S teboj je očitno nekaj narobe!

Her-O

»To se mi še nikoli ni zgodilo, da bi se tok matral na ženski, njej pa ob vsem tem trudu ne bi prišlo. To je nekaj narobe s teboj očitno,« mi je bilo rečeno s strani osebe, s katero imam danes le še prijateljski odnos.

Ko sem v tistem trenutku ležala ob njem in se počutila čisto prijetno in zadovoljno, moram priznat, da me je ta stavek precej pretresel in prizadel. Ne vem, če mi je na tisti točki sploh bilo do pogovora, v trenutku me je v mislih odneslo daleč stran in vedela sem, da nikoli več ne želim biti v odnosu, kjer se s takšnim komentarjem sploh moram ubadat.
Ta dogodek me je postavil na realna tla in še bolj sem se zavedla pomembnosti ozaveščanja oziroma diskurza na temo spolnosti in ženskega telesa.

Ne vem ali se je to zgodilo s pojavom interneta in neskončno preproste dostopnosti do pornografskih vsebin, ampak mislim, da je seks kot ga poznamo v porniču, za mnoge (predvsem mlade) postal nek vzgled kako bi seks in spolnost naj izgledala tudi v resnici. A so starši in šolski sistem s spolno vzgojo res tako zatajili, da je edini vzgled, ki mladim preostane, pornografski film? Kjer so ženske najpogosteje prikazane v podrejenem položaju, naličene, brez celulita, vitke, pobrite, ustrežljive, sladke… Kjer naletiš le na seks ali včasih na (zaigrano) ljubljenje, ki to v resnici ni.

Kakšno sporočilo to pošilja mladim odraščajočim ljudem, moškim in ženskam? Kakšne telesne in lepotne ideale te vsebine postavljajo? In kako to vpliva na partnerski odnos, na našo spolnost?

Tukaj še večjo težavo kot pornografske vsebine definitivno predstavljajo mediji ter popularna kultura, ki žensko predstavljajo v povsem nerealni podobi. Koliko najstnic zaradi želje po čim večjem ugajanju tej podobi razvije motnje prehranjevanja, slabo samopodobo in že v zgodnjih letih poseže po raznih lepotnih operacijah? S takšnim razmišljanjem bi prav vsaka izmed nas potrebovala kak poseg, izboljšavo ali spremembo. Vsi možni filtri na družbenih omrežjih in zretuširane podobe zvezdnic ter influencerk brišejo realnost naših teles. Ne dopuščajo nečiste kože, neobritih nog, mozoljev, podočnjakov, oblin – razen, če te niso ekstremno skoncentrirane na ritnicah.

Nihče ni popoln. Kaj sploh popolnost predstavlja? Popolnost je tako zelo subjektivna, vsake oči imajo drugačno predstavo o njej.
Zato je jasno sledeče: Vse obdelane in izumetničene instagram zgodbe ter objave gotovo ne predstavljajo realnega telesa ter načina življenja in se tako z njimi nihče zares ne more poistovetit.

Ujamemo se v krog, kjer hrepenimo po na videz vznemirljivem življenju, kot ga ‘živijo’ ljudje na družbenih omrežij. Ta življenja so tuja, zaigrana in hlinjena. Marsikdaj se počutimo, da so naša v primerjavi z njihovimi dolgočasna in manjvredna.

Pozabili smo kaj pomeni izjemnost vsakega posameznika. Da so naši interesi, strasti in posebnosti tiste, ki nas delajo zanimive in edinstvene. Da je lepota v tem, da se sprejmeš točno tak kakršen si in si s tem daš moč ter osebno zadovoljstvo.
Tako opolnomočeni smo veliko bolj privlačni in zanimivi. Okolici sporočamo, da smo zadovoljni s sabo in da nas ne ganejo umetne smernice, ki jim je tako ali tako nemogoče slediti in nas v resnici ne izpolnjujejo, ampak zgolj silijo naprej, k naslednjemu cilju ter vsiljeni družbeni identiteti. Vse to nas pušča prazne in večno neizpolnjene, saj s takšnim početjem ne zadovoljujemo pristnih sebe, ampak sledimo nečemu, kar je kolektivno mišljeno za estetsko.

Do tega sem prišla tudi sama v hipu, ko mi je bilo rečeno, da je z mano oziroma z mojim telesom nekaj narobe. Takrat sem vedela, da bo naslednja oseba, s katero bom intimna, spoštovala moje želje glede lastnega telesa in me ne bo neposredno ali posredno silila k obnašanju, ki mi je tuje in neprijetno. Videla bo, da uživam in ljubim, četudi ‘mi ne pride’ in zaradi tega se ne bo počutila ogroženo, manj ‘moško’ oziroma manj sposobno.

Pogosto se sprašujem koliko moški zares poznajo naša telesa? Koliko jih poznamo me same?
Mnogokrat sem se počutila, kot da je z menoj in mojim telesom kaj narobe, da morda kaj počnem ali razumem narobe. Ampak skozi pogovore s prijateljicami in prebiranjem blogov ter člankov sem ugotovila, da je vse kar doživljam povsem normalno.
Danes vem, da nekatere ženske nikoli ne doživijo orgazma, druge ga lahko doživijo le z masturbacijo. Nekaterim ga ne prinese penetracija, ampak kakšna druga oblika draženja in podobno.
Pred tem raziskovanjem sem se mnogokrat počutila zelo osamljeno v nekaterih svojih občutkih. In želim si, da bi bila o tovrstnih temah poučena že mnogo prej, v najstniških letih.

Skratka – postalo mi je jasno, da ni recepta in pravil. In ko je to spoznanje resnično prišlo do mene, sem lahko spustila nekatere zadržke in strahove ter lažje zadihala. Vsako telo je namreč unikatno in se različno odziva na dražljaje, njihovo intenzivnost ter način draženja. Ženske potrebujemo nežnost in pozornost, kar je včasih veliko pomembneje od samega seksa ali orgazma.

Danes vem, da nekatere ženske nikoli ne doživijo orgazma, druge ga lahko doživijo le z masturbacijo. Nekaterim ga ne prinese penetracija, ampak kakšna druga oblika draženja in podobno.

Mene veliko bolj napolni to, da pogledam partnerju v oči in vem, da me povsem sprejema, ima rad ter me želi osrečit. Seks oziroma odnos je potem zgolj češnja na vrhu torte.

Komaj ko se resnično sprejmeš, se lahko povsem predaš in takrat bo prišla oseba, ki te bo zares Videla ter čutila. Ki ji bo jasno, da so porniči fake seks in da se človeka, ki se spoštujeta ter imata rada, ljubita.

In ne, z mano ni nič narobe!

Penis- the good, the bad and the ugly

Her-O

Že odkar spremlja moške je jasno, da je penis več kot le del telesa. Sprehod skozi zgodovino nam pokaže božanstveni kult čaščenja penisa oziroma faličnosti.

THE GOOD

Raziskovalce je pred nekaj leti presenetila najdba v Nemčiji. Odkrili so do sedaj najstarejšo falično upodobitev. Gre za 19 cm visok in skoraj 3 cm širok natančno zbrušen kamen v obliki falusa. Njegova uporaba ni natančno določena, vendar znanstveniki ne izključujejo, da je morda služil tudi kot seks pripomoček. Starost najdbe ocenjujejo na približno 28000 let.

Znane so tudi nekoliko mlajše jamske upodobitve erektilnega penisa, simbola življenja, tolmačenega celo kot kreatorja Univerzuma.

Vemo, da so različna ljudstva skozi zgodovino zelo slikovito in bolj ali manj eksplicitno upodabljala moške spolne ude.

Stari Egipčani so v erektilni podobi penisa prepoznali plodnost. Boga plodnosti je ponazarjal tudi Oziris, čigar legenda pravi, da so bili njegovi posmrtni deli raztrošeni širom Egipta, razen penisa, ki ga je pojedla riba. Kljub temu je Ozirisova žena uspela zbrati dele in ga oživeti. Namesto zgubljenega penisa pa mu je poklonila leseno repliko. Kasneje pa naj bi celo uspešno zanosila.

Eno najzgodnejših egipčanskih božanstev, Min, tako imenovano itifalično bitje, je bilo upodobljeno z ogromnim pokončnim penisom, ki ga drži v rokah.

Stari Grki niso skrivali navdušenja nad spolnostjo in njene užitke zajemali z veliko žlico. Tako ni bilo nič presenetljivega ko so med arheološkim izkopavanjem starodavnih Pompejev odkrili kopico penisov.

Še danes se stanje boleče in dolgotrajne erekcije imenuje »priapizem«. Izraz izhaja iz imena grškega boga plodnosti, Priapusa, ki je upodobljen z nesorazmerno velikim penisom. Priapus naj bi imel v Pompejih celo svoj kult, predvsem pa je bilo na njegov račun odkritih veliko upodobljenih kipcev falične oblike. Dimniki, zvonci, trkala… vse v erektilni obliki penisa.

V rimskem stranišču v Turčiji so odkrili mozaik mladeniča, ki drži pokončni penilni ud. Šlo naj bi za Narcisa, le da je v tej upodobitvi njegova pozornost popolnoma usmerjena v svoj pokončen falus.

Dinamika upodabljanja falusov v stari Grčiji in Rimu je bila precej raznolika.

Grška povezanost z estetiko je narekovala upodobitev manjših falusov. Široka ramena, močne prsi, svetla polt in- majhen penis. To je bil starogrški estetski ideal. Veliki penisi so se smatrali za groteskne. Zevs in Pozejdon, oba prikazana s popolnim atletskim telesom, imata prav tako tudi dovršeno mednožje, popolnoma izklesana manjša penisa ter anatomsko skoraj preveč pravilni modi.

Kaj vse te upodobitve pomenijo je zagotovo podvrženo mnogim psihoanalitičnim in zgodovinskim interpretacijam. Jasno je, da je falus skozi zgodovino povezan s plodnostjo in rodovitnostjo. Brez obojega se življenje konča, zato je penis kot tak tudi stvaritelj življenja. K nebu segajoče penilno telo je povezano s pokončnostjo in celo integriteto. Pri starih Grkih morda nakazuje na homoerotično vzdušje ali pa kaže celo na posmeh lastni mitologiji.

Kult čaščenja penisa pa je zagotovo doživel vrhunec tudi v Aziji in na Indijskem polotoku. Šiva, vrhovni bog v šivaizmu, se najpogosteje časti kot lingam. To je kompleksen falični simbol, ki predstavlja prvotno energijo.

Kompleksna ezoterika pa je tudi v ozadju obširnega čaščenja falusov v Butanu. Eksplicitno upodobljeni penisi so značilni totem dobre energije ob vselitvi v novo domovanje. Svojevrstna relikvija lesenih penisov pa po butanskem prepričanju skrbi za blaginjo, zdravje in mir v družini.

THE BAD

Z vstopom v srednji vek je telo izgubilo dovoljenje za užitke in vsi njegovi nekoč čaščeni atributi so bili prepovedani, kaznovani in sramotni. Vsaj takšen je bilo potrebno dajati vtis v očeh javnosti. Poželenje je postalo nevarno in skušnjava verjetno ravno zato še bolj mikavna.

Cerkev je prevzela nadzor nad Zakonom in zakonom. Razvil se je tako imenovani teološki penis. Duhovščina je učila, da je namen seksa razmnoževanje in s tem povezan užitek je bil zanemarljiv. Mišljenje, ki ponekod vztraja še danes, je v srednjem veku učilo, da je masturbacija greh. Dotikanje in raziskovanje lastnega telesa pa vstopnica v pekel.

Morda najbolj znana falična upodobitev tistega časa je Drevo falusov. Gre za motiv, ki prikazuje drevo, s falusi razporejenimi po vseh vejah. Falusi so različnih velikosti, vsi v erektilnem stanju in vključujejo celo skrotum. Drevo falusov je znan motiv tistega časa v zahodni Evropi. Njegov pomen je po navadi interpretiran kot povezava med neplodnostjo in impotenco na eni, ter čarovništvom in celo satanizmom na drugi strani.

THE UGLY

Danes lahko najdemo eksplicitne podobe moškega spolnega uda na vsakem koraku. Prva skica na sveže zapadlem snegu, tisti vsem znani enopotezni oris na javnih in šolskih WC-jih,… Pa nepovabljena sporočila, tako imenovani dick picksi v inboxu, kot izraz sodobnega flirtanja :/

Njegova vrednost je pogostokrat zreducirana zgolj na »moški joystick«, ali pa na feministični antitotem. Penis je postal tudi manifestni organ patriarhalne družbe. Vsa ta negativna in zbanalizirana konotacija pa mu odvzema nekoč dodeljeno oltarsko vrednost.

Zato častimo faluse!

Vrnimo ta pokončna božanstva na naše police, častimo jih kot pradavno povezanost med moškim in žensko. Kot simbol življenja in povezanosti človeka z naravo. Kot fluidno življenje, ki spreminja formo vsak dan, vendar je vedno v ravnovesju. Nas opogumlja, da se pokončno dvignemo, ko pademo in nas tolaži, da tudi če nismo vedno polni moči, ni to nič hudega, saj življenje je ravnovesje. Življenje je neprestano spreminjanje.

Ožeta limonica in zadavljen petelin

Her-O

Zadavljen petelin

Po nekaterih podatkih se dečki prvič samozadovoljijo, ko so stari 12 let. Največkrat niti ne vedo, kaj počnejo, le sledijo gibom ugodja. Nekateri že nekaj let prej ali pa tudi kakšno kasneje še tavajo v nevednosti, kaj je njihovo telo sposobno in od kod izvirajo ti prijetni občutki.

Progresivno usmerjene mamice s svojimi sinovi seveda brezsramno in opolnomočeno spregovorijo o tem. Veš Miha, včasih se bo zgodilo, da če se boš dotaknil svoje lulčka, te bo nekaj zaščemelo pod trebuščkom, kot da bi ti mravljice zlezle v hlačke. To je popolnoma normalno.

Tudi v zrelejših letih se moški redno samozadovoljujejo. Ob tem se je tekom opisovanja početja dejanja, prijelo nemalo izrazov. Vsi so seveda zelo tehnično nazorni, žargon pa precej obrtniški. Šibniti, ožeti, zadaviti, izmolsti, zbrusiti..pa še nekaj bolj vulgarnih. Petelina, prijatelja, spodnjo glavo, kačo, anakondo…odvisno seveda s čim se najbolj poistovetite.

Masturbacija je pri moških docela sprejeta. Tako tekom odraščanja, kot skozi celotno odraslo življenje. Pri samskih, poročenih, razvezanih, gejih in straight. Je pač del moške kulture, je zdrava, naravna in normalna. Pride skupaj s penisom. Skupaj z naborom besed in metafor, ki bolj ali manj nazorno opišejo onaniranje.

Veš Miha, včasih se bo zgodilo, da če se boš dotaknil svoje lulčka, te bo nekaj zaščemelo pod trebuščkom, kot da bi ti mravljice zlezle v hlačke. To je popolnoma normalno.

Ožeta limonica

Kaj pa dekleta?

Veš Mojca, ko boš v 7. razredu pri športni vzgoji plezala po vrvi, se zna zgoditi, da boš bolj kot na napor pozorna na prijeten občutek, ki ga vrv povzroča med nogami.

No, tega pogovora seveda ni bilo. Na srečo, kajti od sramu bi se ugreznila v pod. je pa plezanje po vrvi postal moj najljubši del športne vzgoje. Zakaj je tako prijetno, mi je postalo jasno šele skozi čas.

Od tistih prijetnih trenutkov športne vzgoje, je do rednega samozadovoljevanja preteklo še kar nekaj časa. Prav veliko se o tem nisem pogovarjala z nikomer, pa tudi potrebe po tem ni bilo. Seveda, to je nekaj intimnega, nekaj mojega, nekaj…česar me je morda sram?

Seks je povsod, seks je vse

Ko se je tekom mojega odraščanja govorilo o spolnosti, se je predvsem o zaščiti pred nosečnostjo, pa o preventivi pred spolno prenosljivimi boleznimi, pa o seksu. Tistemu, ko moški s svojim penisom prodre v vagino. Kaj, morda poznate še kakšnega? Masturbacijo se je omenjalo le kot fantovsko “opravilo”. Hej, naj vas opozorim, da to ni bilo v nekem drugem veku 😉

Seveda so danes časi drugačni. In seks je povsod, seks je vse. Že nekaj let se mi zdi, da se dogaja huda pornifikacija intimnosti in pogleda na seks. Če je morda nekoč držalo: povej mi, s kom seksaš in povem ti, kdo si, je danes bolj primerno: povej mi, kako se pogovarjaš o seksu in povem ti kdo si. Zdi se, da tabuji padajo, vse je dovoljeno, vse je tolerirano, vse nas opolnomoči. Odprti smo do vsega. V ozadje te odprtosti pa smo začeli potiskati spoštljive pogovore o intimnosti, občutkih, fantazijah, hrepenenjih, občutenjih. O (samo)zadovoljevanju, fizičnemu in psihičnemu. In le to vse skupaj je tisti pravi seks, o katerem bi morali govoriti več. Z besedami, katerim je treba odvzeti prostaško ali pa morda celo hihitajočo konotacijo.

Dobrodošli torej, let’s talk about sex!