Her-O

How to choose the right hero for yourself?

We are often approached by clients who are still deciding on their first hero. "I've been looking at them for a month now, I have all the tabs from your store open on my browser, I'm checking Instagram, but I don't know which one to choose." We understand the dilemma, because of course we are in love with each and everyone of them. And yet, how to decide?

Let the hero pick you!

Whoever says that love on first sight does not exist has not yet experienced it. So the first piece of advice would be simple – choose the one that catches your eye first. Trust your intuition.

Velikost

Her-O are available in three sizes. The dimensions are approximate, as they are made by hand and therefore deviate slightly:

-S (12 cm)

-M (16 cm)

-L (20 cm)

The choice of size, of course, depends on your personal preferences and uses.

Our smallest as well as the thinnest Her-Oes are great for gentle foreplay. As a subtle finger extension, they help detect any erogenous spots on your own or your partner’s body.

We also recommend them if you want to set out to explore anal sex for the first time.

Anal sex can offer a lot of pleasure if we do it in the right, safe and healthy way. We need to be aware that the anal sphincter is physiologically capable of only minor stretching. Excessive force and penetration can lead not only to damage to the mucous membranes and skin, but also to dysfunctions of the said muscle. It is important, therefore, that we engage in anal sex gradually and gradually increase the subject of penetration as well. And our tiniest heroes are perfect for that.

Medium or M heroes are recommended for those who want to increase the intensity and maybe progress from S. Such a great compromise for anyone who thinks that L is still too much for them.

Our largest statues are reserved for those who want to proudly display Her-Oes on the shelf and are in love with ceramics. They are also for the increasingly experienced who know their own or their partner’s body and know what suits them.

"Anal sex can offer a lot of pleasure if we do it in the right, safe and healthy way."

All three are also available as a set, at a special price now.

Threesome from Heaven

Of course, not everything is size related 😉

Ceramic phalluses are each covered in their own heroic cape. Depending on the shade of the glaze, they also got their name, all after the Slavic gods.

Perun is a gentle giant, glazed with light glaze and made of sandy brown clay.

Veles is Perun’s antipol. In pagan mythology, we associate him with witchcraft, and his dark robe is truly magical.

Svarog is our shiny marble seducer. Its glaze overflows in various shades of gentle green.

Conclusion

No matter which Hero chooses you at the end, we are convinced that just about anyone can contribute to intimately getting to know yourself and your partner. Even if we you just put it on the shelf, it contributes to a more open discourse on the subject of sexuality and is your own statement, in the form of a little phallic deity that says:

“I look at it at day, I make sweet love to it at night.”

Kako izbrati pravega Her-Oja?

Her-O

Večkrat se na nas obračajo stranke, ki se še odločajo za svojega prvega heroja. »Ogledujem si jih že 1 mesec, na namizju imam odprte vse zavihke iz vaše trgovine, pregledujem Instagram, vendar ne vem, za katerega naj se odločim.« Razumemo dilemo, saj smo mi, seveda, zaljubljeni v čisto vse. Pa vendar, kako se odločiti?

Naj vas nagovori!

Kdor pravi, da ljubezen na prvi pogled ne obstaja, to trdi samo zato, ker je še ni izkusil. Zato bi bil prvi nasvet enostaven-izberite tistega, ki vam prvi pade v oči.

Zaupajte svoji intuiciji.

Velikost

Her-O ji so na voljo v treh velikostih. Mere so okvirne, saj so narejeni ročno in zato te tudi lahko malenkost odstopajo:

-S (12 cm)

-M (16 cm)

-L (20 cm)

Izbira velikosti je seveda odvisna od vaših osebnih preferenc in načinov uporabe.

Naši najmanjši in tudi najtanjši Her-Oji so odlični za nežno predigro. Kot subtilen podaljšek prsta pomagajo odkrivati vse erogene točke na lastnem ali partnerjevem telesu.

Prav tako jih priporočamo, če se želite prvič podati v raziskovanje analnega seksa

Analni seks lahko nudi veliko užitka, če se ga lotimo na pravilen, varen in zdrav način. Zavedati se moramo, da je zadnjična mišica zapiralka fiziološko zmožna le manjšega raztezanja. Pri preveliki sili in penetraciji lahko tako pride ne samo do poškodb sluznice in kože, temveč tudi do disfunkcij omenjene mišice. Pomembno je, da se zato analnega seksa lotimo postopoma in postopoma večamo tudi predmet penetracije. Zato so naši najmanjši heroji kot nalašč.

Srednje, oziroma M heroje svetujemo tistim, ki želijo ojačati intenziteto in morda napredovati iz S. So odličen kompromis za vse, ki menijo, da je L zaenkrat še prevelik zalogaj.

Naši največji kipci so rezervirani za tiste, ki želite Her-Oje ponosno razkazovati na polici in ste zaljubljeni v keramiko. Prav tako so za vse bolj izkušene, ki poznajo lastno ali partnerjevo telo in vedo, kaj jim ustreza.

"Analni seks lahko nudi veliko užitka, če se ga lotimo na pravilen, varen in zdrav način. "

Lahko pa preizkusite prav vse velikosti, ki so sedaj na voljo tudi po akcijski ceni!

Trojica iz nebes

Seveda pa ni vse v velikosti 😉

Keramični falusi so odeti vsak v svoje super pregrinjalo. Glede na odtenek glazure so dobili tudi svoje ime, po slovanskih bogovih.

Perun je nežen velikan, glaziran s svetlo glazuro in narejen iz peščeno rjave gline.

Veles je Perunov antipol. V poganski mitologiji ga povezujemo s čarovništvom in njegovo temno odevalo je prav zares čarobno.

Svarog je naš sijoči marmornati zapeljivec. Njegova glazura se preliva v različnih odtenkih nežne zelene.

Zaključek

Ne glede na to, kateri Heroj izbere na koncu vas, smo prepričani, da je prav vsak lahko doprinos za intimno spoznavanje sebe in partnerja. Tudi, če ga le razstavimo na polici, pripomore k bolj odprtemu diskurzu na temo spolnosti in je vaša izjava, v obliki malega faličnega božanstva, ki pravi:

“I look at it at day, I make sweet love to it at night.”

Pornography: Stairway to Heaven or Highway to hell?

Her-O

Dear unnamed Men! A sincere thank you for sharing your intimate confession with us. We appreciate your courage to share your experience with us and write it down without embellishments.

Following letter was anonymously send to our email.

"For me, women have become an object I penetrate in order to feel pleasure in the genital area. That’s all, no intimacy, tenderness, touch and love. How could I know that there exist a gentle touch of affection if I have learned that pleasure can only be sex as presented in porn films."

Catalogs of pleasure

For the first time in my life, I came across sexually arousing content at an early age. I think it was before I started attending elementary school. I remember my parents purchasing a huge clothes catalog every summer to order things from Austria. A few pages of this catalog were also devoted to underwear. Among them, there were always a few where the girls in the photos showed their breasts.

This is where it all started, these images of breasts aroused me and my hands soon found their way into my panties and started exploring. This was followed by pleasant sensations that invited me to touch my penis frequently. At first it was only a few times a month to the point where I masturbated every day.

A real interest in naked bodies and sexuality developed a little later but still in the early years, maybe at the age of ten. My cousin was spending the holidays at my family’s place and so we had all the time in the world to do whatever we wanted. In the evening, due to access to various German TV channels, we were able to watch programs that showed so-called soft porn content. And my cousin persuaded me to masturbate and also showed me how exactly I should do it. Of course I also wanted to master this thing as well as he did, so I started training hard whenever I could watch TV without being caught by my parents.

I had the good fortune or misfortune that my parents bought a computer and internet access very early on, even when this technological story was very much in its infancy compared to today’s possibilities. Computer + internet + teenager = pornography. This was my daily formula that lasted for about 13 years.

I didn’t tell anyone about my doing, I didn’t talk to anyone about it, it had to be kept a secret. We didn’t have a completely mysterious attitude towards sexuality at home but we never really talked openly about this topic, so the main source of information for me was porn.

Somewhere in the sixth grade of elementary school, interest in girls increased even more. For the first time I wanted to invite a girl on a date. And at the time, my only teachers on how to do it were pornography and romantic comedies.

"What drives me to masturbate?"

I persistently masturbated throughout high school, faculty, and even later when important information reached me and enlightened me about my intimate relationship to my own body in a profound way.

I realized that what we observe, listen to, watch and absorb strongly determines what goes around in our heads.

I became attentive to my own thoughts and quickly noticed that more than half of these were coloured by sexual fantasies. It didn’t take me long to decipher where they came from, from porn of course. This became even clearer to me when I began to realize that I don’t actually sleep really deeply all night long because my body and mind are processing a variety of scenes and content from porn I watched before I fell asleep.

My routine was such that I masturbated just before I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

The more I became aware of what was going on in my head, the more I realized that doing so creates a tremendous amount of restlessness, nervousness, and uncontrollable passion.

I read that with every ejaculation, a large amount of life energy goes from our body. Many top athletes are prohibited from having sex and masturbating before competitions precisely because of this. I wanted to check if this was really the case and tried to put masturbation aside for a few days. It quickly became clear to me that I was deeply addicted. When the evening came all my attention went to thinking about opening my laptop to watch various porn sites and start masturbating. I think that the intention not to masturbate made my mind want it even more.

"... women from porn have become only an object which arouses my penis..."

My perception of women was also affected by this. All the naked girls and women from porn, the number of which have certainly reached up to thousands over the years, have become for me only an object which arouses my penis so that I can touch it with my hand and at the same time imagine in my mind how I penetrate in the woman I see.

For me, women have become an object I penetrate in order to feel pleasure in the genital area. That’s all, no intimacy, tenderness, touch and love. How could I know that there exist a gentle touch of affection if I have learned that pleasure can only be sex as presented in porn films.

The more you come in contact with your body, the less you can enjoy purely mechanical masturbation

I am very grateful to be able to speak now about this matter as something that is part of my past.

In my life’s journey, I have met individuals who have brought me closer to ways of expressing love that do not only stem from the need to fullfill accumulated fantasies. It took me about a year to gather enough willpower to stop masturbating. It certainly helped that I was already tired of it.

The more I came in contact with my body and its tenderness, the less I was able to enjoy rubbing my penis. A friend advised me to just lie on the floor and observe with my attention all the feelings in my body and the thoughts parallel to it. I did this mostly when my sexual desire intensified to an extent that I was on the verge of masturbation. I was watching the sensations and my body started to relax deeply. Then something unimaginable happened, I experienced a whole body orgasm without touching anything. What emerged from this experiment is a great practice of relaxation and I believe that all the sexual energy that has accumulated somewhere in me over the years through observation and relaxation spills over my entire body and nourishes me with freshness and strength.

It is a fact that I feel so much better since I don’t masturbate anymore. I have a lot more willpower to persevere in the work and things I want to do. I’m not that tired and I don’t look at women as walking vaginas anymore.

Is masturbation categorically bad?

What I have written, however, does not mean that I believe that masturbation in general is a bad thing.

I believe that intimate exploration of one’s own body, as a form of loving oneself, can be a very fulfilling form of masturbation. It’s mostly about not being in our minds and our heads in the meantime, but really present in the feelings we’re experiencing.

Not to look for instant solutions to sexual frustrations but to delve into our feelings. We should explore where they come from and what pleases, deepens, boils or encourages them.

To understand pornography and what levers it works on, and what role actors and actresses play in it. So depends on our perception what mastrurbation is:

Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell!

Pornografija: Stairway to heaven ali Highway to hell?

Her-O

Dragi neimenovani Moški! Iskrena hvala, ker si delil z nami svojo intimno izpoved. Cenimo tvoj pogum, da si z nami delil svojo izkušnjo ter jo zapisal brez olepšavanj.

V uredništvo smo prejeli spodnji zapis. Avtor želi ostati anonimen.

"Ženske so zame postale objekt, v katerega prodrem, zato da občutim užitek v območju genitalij. To je vse, nobene intimnosti, nežnosti, dotikanja, ljubezni. Kako bi lahko vedel, da sploh obstaja nežen dotik naklonjenosti, če sem se naučil, da je užitek lahko le spolni odnos, predstavljen na zelo pestre načine v porno filmih."

Katalogi užitka

Prvič v življenju sem se srečal s spolno vzburljivimi vsebinami že v zgodnjem otroštvu. Mislim da je to bilo že pred začetkom obiskovanja osnovne šole. Spomnim se, da sta moja starša vsako pol-letje naročila ogromen katalog za naročanje stvari iz Avstrije. Nekaj strani tega kataloga je bilo namenjenega tudi spodnjemu perilu. Med njimi se je zmeraj znašlo nekaj primerov, kjer so punce na fotografijah kazale prsi.

Tukaj se je vse začelo, teh nekaj parov prsi me je vzburilo in moje roke so kmalu našle pot v spodnjice in pričele z raziskovanjem. Sledili so prijetni občutki, ki so vabili k pogostem dotikanju penisa, sprva je to bilo le nekajkrat na mesec do točke ko sem masturbiral vsak dan.

Zares pravo zanimanje za gola telesa in seksualnost se je razvilo malo kasneje, a še zmeraj v zgodnjih letih, morda pri desetih. Bratranec je preživljal počitnice pri nas in tako sva imela ves čas na svetu za početje česarkoli sva si zaželela. Ob večernih urah sva zaradi dostopa do različnih nemških TV kanalov lahko spremljala programe, ki so kazali tako imenovano soft porn vsebino. In bratranec me je nagovoril k masturbaciji ter mi tudi pokazal na sebi, kako točno bi to moral početi. Seveda sem hotel tudi jaz to stvar tako dobro obvladati kot on, tako da sem začel pridno trenirati vselej, ko sem le lahko gledal TV, brez da bi me pri tem zalotili starši.

Imel sem to srečo ali nesrečo, da so moji starši že zelo zgodaj kupili računalnik in dostop do interneta, še ko je bila ta tehnološka zgodba zelo v povojih v primerjavi z današnjimi zmožnostmi. Računalnik + internet + mladostnik = pornografija. To je bila moja vsakodnevna formula, ki je trajala okoli 13 let.

Nikomur nisem govoril o svojem početju, z nikomer se nisem o tem pogovarjal, moralo je biti skrivnostno. Doma sicer nismo imeli povsem skrivnostnega odnosa do spolnosti ampak se zares pravzaprav nikoli nismo odkrito pogovarjali o tej temi, tako da je bil glavni vir informacij zame pornič.

Nekje v šestem razredu osnovne šole, se je zanimanje za dekleta še povečalo. Prvič sem se soočal s tem, da sem dekle želel povabiti na zmenek. In takrat sta bili edini moji učiteljici kako naj bi se to naredilo, pornografija in romantične komedije.

Danes vem, da je to bila to zagotovo zelo nezdrava mešanica za odraščajočega mladostnika..

"Kaj me žene v samozadovoljevanje?"

Z masturbiranjem sem vztrajal vseskozi srednjo šolo, študij in še kasneje do zadnjega leta, ko je do mene prispel en kup informacij, ki so mi intimni odnos do lastnega telesa prikazale v novi luči.

Spoznal sem, da vse kar opazujemo, poslušamo, gledamo, vsrkavamo vase, močno determinira kar roji po naših glavah.

Postal sem pozoren na lastne misli in hitro sem opazil, da je več kot pol teh obarvanih s seksualnimi fantazijami. Nisem rabil dolgo razvozlavati od kod pridejo, iz porničev seveda. To mi je še toliko bolj postalo jasno, ko sem se začel zavedati, da po cele noči pravzaprav ne spim zares globoko, ker moje telo in um predelujeta raznorazne scene in vsebine iz porničev, ki sem jih gledal preden sem zaspal.

Moja rutina je bila namreč taka, da tik preden sem zatisnil oči in zaspal, sem vedno še masturbiral.

Bolj ko sem postajal zavesten (nad tem) o tem, kar se dogaja v moji glavi, bolj sem ugotavljal, da to početje ustvarja ogromno nemira, živčnosti in nekontrolirane strasti.

Prebral sem, da gre z vsakim izlivom iz nas tudi velika količina življenjske energije. Marsikateri vrhunski športniki imajo pred tekmami prepoved spolnih odnosov in masturbacije ravno zaradi tega vedenja. Želel sem preveriti ali to res velja in poskusil za nekaj dni odložiti masturbacijo na stran. Postalo mi je hitro jasno da sem globoko odvisen. Napočil je večer in vsa moja pozornost je šla k temu, da bi si odprl laptop in različne porno strani ter začel masturbirati. Pravzaprav je zaradi namere da ne bi, že ves dan moj um iskal načine, kako se bo to zgodilo, ter si predstavljal da to že počnem.

"... ženske iz porničev so zame postale objekt, ki vzburi moj penis..."

Vplivalo je tudi na moje dojemanje žensk. Vsa gola dekleta in ženske iz porničev, ki se jih je skozi vsa leta gotovo nabralo na tisoče, so zame postala objekt, ki vzburi moj penis, zato da se ga lahko dotaknem z roko ter si hkrati v mislih predstavljam, kako v videno žensko prodrem.

Ženske so zame postale objekt, v katerega prodrem, zato da občutim užitek v območju genitalij. To je vse, nobene intimnosti, nežnosti, dotikanja, ljubezni. Kako bi lahko vedel, da sploh obstaja nežen dotik naklonjenosti, če sem se naučil, da je užitek lahko le spolni odnos, predstavljen na zelo pestre načine v porno filmih.

Bolj ko prideš v stik s svojim telesom, manj lahko uživaš v zgolj mehanski masturbaciji

Zelo sem hvaležen, da sedaj lahko suvereno govorim o tej zadevi kot o nečem, kar je del moje preteklosti.

Na svoji življenjski poti sem se srečal s posamezniki in posameznicami, ki so mi vendarle približali načine izražanja ljubezni, ki ne izhajajo samo iz potrebe po izpolnjevanju nakopičenih fantazij. Približno eno leto je trajalo, da sem zbral dovoljšno količino volje za prenehanje masturbiranja. Pri tem mi je gotovo pomagalo, da sem se je že naveličal.

Vse bolj ko sem prihajal v stik s svojim telesom in njegovo nežnostjo, manj sem lahko užival v drgnjenju penisa. Prijateljica mi je svetovala, da naj samo ležem na tla in opazujem s svojo pozornostjo, občutke v svojem telesu ter njim vzporedne misli. To sem počel najbolj takrat, ko se je spolna sla tako intenzivirala, da sem bil na robu masturbacije in seveda tega nisem hotel. Opazoval sem občutke in ob tem se je moje telo pričelo globoko sproščati na kar se je zgodilo nekaj nepredstavljivega, tako rekoč sem doživel orgazem celega telesa, brez da bi se dotaknil česarkoli. Naslednji dan sem poskusil znova in nič se ni zgodilo. Kar je nastalo iz tega eksperimenta je odlična praksa sproščanja in verjamem, da se vsa spolna energija, ki se je nekje v meni nakopičila tekom let skozi opazovanje in sproščanje preliva po celem telesu in me napaja s svežino in močjo.

Dejstvo je, da odkar ne masturbiram se mnogo boljše počutim. Imam veliko več volje za vztrajanje pri delu in stvareh, ki jih želim početi. Nisem toliko utrujen in ne gledam na ženske več kot na hodeče vagine.

Ali je masturbacija kategorično slaba?

Kar sem napisal pa še ne pomeni, da mislim da je vsaka masturbacija- slaba masturbacija.

Verjamem da je lahko intimno raziskovanje lastnega telesa, kot oblika ljubljenja s samim seboj zelo izpolnjujoča oblika masturbacije. Gre predvsem za to, da nismo med tem v mislih in svoji glavi, temveč zares prisotni v občutkih, ki jih doživljamo.

Da ne iščemo instant rešitev za seksualne frustracije ampak se poglobimo v svoje občutke. Raziskujemo, od kje prihajajo in kaj jih poteši, poglobi, zavre ali vzpodbudi.

Da razumemo pornografijo in na kakšne vzvode deluje, ter v kakšni vlogi so v njej akterji in akterke.

Od tega je torej odvisno kaj nam predstavlja masturbacija:

Flicking the bean and cock strangling

Her-O

A strangeled cock

According to some reports, boys masturbate for the first time when they are 12 years old. Most of the time, they don’t even know what they’re doing, they just follow the movements of pleasure. Some have been wandering in ignorance of what their body is capable of and where these pleasant feelings come from for a few years before or even later.

Progressively oriented mothers, of course, talk shamelessly with their sons about this. You know John, sometimes it happens that if you touch your penis, something will sting under your belly, as if ants are crawling into your panties. This is perfectly normal.

Even in their mature years, men regularly masturbate. At the same time, many descriptions were used during the description of the act. All of them are very technically clear and the jargon is quite artisanal. Wenk, jack off, fap, strangle, grind, rub, jerk off … and some more vulgar. Cock, friend, lower head, snake, anaconda… depending of course on what you most identify with.

Masturbation is completely accepted with men. Both during adolescence and throughout adult life. For singles, married, divorced, gay or straight, … It is just a part of male culture, it is healthy, natural and normal. It comes along with the penis. Along with a set of words and metaphors that more or less vividly describe masturbation.

We are open to everything. In the background of this openness, however, we began to push respectful conversations about intimacy, feelings, fantasies, longings,(self) satisfaction, physical and mental.

Flicking the bean

What about the girls?

You know, Anna, when you climb the rope in 7th grade in physical education, it can happen that you pay more attention to the pleasant feeling that the rope causes between your legs than to the effort.

Well, of course there was no such conversation. Luckily, because out of shame I would sink to the floor. however, rope climbing has become my favorite part of physical education. Why it is so pleasant only became clear to me over time.

From those pleasant moments of physical education, quite some time has passed to regular masturbation. I didn’t talk to anyone about it and there was no need for that either. Sure, it’s something intimate, something of mine, something that I might be ashamed of?

Sex is everywhere, sex is everything

When I was growing up, sexuality was taught mainly focusing on protection against unwanted pregnancy, prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, and sex as penetration.

What, maybe you know another one? Masturbation was mentioned only as a boy’s “task”.

Of course, times are different today. And sex is everywhere, sex is everything.

For several years now, it seems to me that there has been a severe pornification of intimacy and views on sex. If it may once have been true: tell me who you’re having sex with and I’ll tell you who you are. Today it’s more appropriate: tell me how you talk about sex and I’ll tell you who you are.

Taboos seem to fall, everything is allowed, everything is tolerated, sex empowers us all. We are open to everything. In the background of this openness, however, we began to push respectful conversations about intimacy, feelings, fantasies, longings,(self) satisfaction, physical and mental.

That alone is the real sex we should be talking about. With words that need to be stripped off a vulgar or perhaps even giggling connotation.

So- let’s talk about sex!

There must be something wrong with you!

Her-O

»It's never happened before that I'd make so much effort and a woman still wouldn't cum. Something is obviously wrong with you.« That's something a man once said to me. Today our relationship status is 'friends' – with no benefits.

While I was lying next to him feeling quite happy and lovely, I have to admit that his words shocked and hurt me. I am not even sure wheather I wanted to discuss that at a time, instantaneously my thoughts took me to a place far away and I knew that I never again wanted to be in a relationship where I would have to cope with such comments. This event grounded me in a way that I became aware of the importance of enlightening and discussing about the topic of sexuality and the woman’s body.

I am not sure if this happend with the birth of internet and endless amounts of easily accessible pornographic contents, but I think that sex (as we know it from porn) for many (especially young people) became sort of how sexuality, relations and intercourse look like in real life. Have parents and the school system really failed to such extent that the porn industry is the only example of sex that we can learn from? Where women are taken as subordinate objects, masked with make up, without any cellulite, skinny, shaved, all humble and sweet… Where you find only fake sex and staged lovemaking.

What message does young people who are growing up percieve through that? What kind of body and beauty standards are these contents advocating? How does all this infulence our partnership and sexuality?

An even greater problem create media and popular culture, that presents women in a completely unreal image. How many teenagers, due to the desire to please, develop eating disorders, a low self-esteem and succumb to various plastic operations? That kind of mentallity can drive you insane – when percieving yourself through the eyes of media and popular culture we all could find something to be done or our bodies. All those filters on social media platforms, retouched images of celebrities and influencers are deleting the reality of our bodies. They do not allow unclear skin, unshaved legs, pimples, bags under our eyes and curves – except if they are extremely concentrated on our buttocks.

Nobody is perfect. What is perfection? Perfection is a subjective phenomenon. Every set of eyes have a different idea about it.

Therefore it’s clear: All the retouched and artificial instagram stories and posts cannot present a real body and lifestyle and no one can really identify oneself with them.

We get caught in a loop of desires when seeing exciting lifes as lived by the »people« on social media. These lives are distant, played out and fake. Often we feel as if our lives are boring in comparison with theirs.

We forgot the importance of individuality. Our interests, passions and specialities are the things that make us interesting and unique. That real Beauty means to accept yourself the way you are and through that you can achieve the feeling of empowerment and satisfaction.

So powerfully self-aware our beauty shines in a much greater extent. Others can see that we are much more contented with ourselves and that we are not affected by trends, which are impossible to keep up with anyway and give us no true satisfaction. These trends keep us in a constant effort of chasing the next higher goal and they force us to be something that mainstream society wants us to be.
All this leaves us empty and endlessly uncontended because this sort of behaviour does not address our true selves but something what is collectively percieved as aesthetical.

All this came to me the moment I was told that there is something wrong either with me or with my body. In that moment I knew that the next person I will share intimacy with will respect my wishes about my body and wouldn’t constantly directly od indirectly push me towards situations that make me uncomfortable and sad. That person will see that I enjoy and love also when »I don’t cum« and because of that he wouldn’t feel less of himself, not capable or less »manly«.

Often I ask myself to what extend men really know our bodies? How do we know them ourselves? Many times I felt as if there is something wrong with me or with my body or that I am doing or understanding something wrong. Conversing with girlfriends, reading blogs and articles gave me an affirmation that everything that I’m going through is perfectly normal.

Today I know that many women never experience orgasm. Others can reach it only through masturbation. Some don’t get it with penetration but only with some other kind of stimulation …

Before I have done this research I felt as If I was the only one with these feelings. I wish now that I would have been taught about these topics in my teens.

It’s clear to me now there is no recipe or rule. When this knowledge truly reached me I could release some blockages and fears. I could take a deep breath.
Each body is unique and responds differently to various stimulus, their intensity and approach. We women need tenderness and attention, that are often much more important than sex and orgasm.

We women need tenderness and attention, that are often much more important than sex and orgasm.

I feel much more embraced when I look my partner in the eyes and know that I am truly accepted and that he loves me and wants to make me happy. Sex and intercourse is then only a cherry on top of the pie.

Once you truly accept yourself you can completely let go and only then will the right person come into your life. Person who will know that porn is fake sex and that only people who respect and care for each other, can truly love.

And no, there is nothing wrong with me!

Penis- The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Her-O

Ever since it has accompanied men, it is clear that the penis is more than just a part of the body. A walk through history shows us the divine cult of penis worship and phallicity.

THE GOOD

A few years ago finding in Germany suprised researchers. They discovered the oldest phallic depiction to date. It is a 19 cm high and almost 3 cm wide precisely shaped stone in the shape of a phallus. Its use is not precisely defined, but scientists do not rule out that it may also have served as a sex tool. The age of the finding is estimated at about 28,000 years.

Slightly younger cave depictions of the erectile penis, as symbol of life, are also known. They are interpreted as if the phallus represents the creator of the Universe.

We are aware that different people throughout history have depicted male genitals very vividly and more or less explicitly.

For instance- the ancient Egyptians recognized fertility in the erectile image of the penis. The god of fertility was also exemplified by Osiris, whose legend says that his posthumous parts were scattered throughout Egypt; except for the penis, which was eaten by a fish.

Nevertheless, Osiris’ wife managed to collect the parts and revive him. Instead of a lost penis, she gave him a wooden replica. Myth tells us, that she was even supposed to conceive successfully.

One of the earliest Egyptian deities, Min, the so-called itiphalic creature, was depicted with a huge upright penis held in his hands.

It’s well known that the ancient Greeks did not hide their enthusiasm for sexuality.

So it was no surprise when a pile of penises was discovered during an archaeological excavation of ancient Pompeii.

Even today, the condition of painful and prolonged erections is called “priapism”. The term derives from the name of the Greek god of fertility, Priapus, who is depicted with a disproportionately large penis. Priapus is said to have even had his own cult in Pompeii, and above all, many depicted statues of phallic shapes were discovered at his expense. Chimneys, bells, knockers… all in erect penis shape.

A mosaic of a young man holding an upright erectile penis was discovered in a Roman toilet in Turkey. It is said to be Narcissus, only in this depiction his attention is completely focused on his upright phallus.

The dynamics of depicting phalluses in ancient Greece and Rome were quite diverse.

The Greek connection with aesthetics dictated the depiction of smaller phalluses. Wide shoulders, strong breasts, light complexion and a small penis. This was the ancient Greek aesthetic ideal. Large penises were considered grotesque.

Zeus and Poseidon, both depicted with perfect athletic bodies, also have a perfect crotch, a perfectly sculpted smaller penis, and anatomically almost too perfect testicles.

What all these depictions mean is certainly subject to many psychoanalytic and historical interpretations. It is clear that the phallus has historically been associated with fertility. Without it life ends, so the penis as such is also the creator of life. The sky-reaching penile body is associated with uprightness and even integrity. For the ancient Greeks, it may indicate a homoerotic atmosphere or even a mockery of their own mythology.

The cult of penis worship certainly reached its peak in Asia and on the Indian subcontinent. Shiva, the supreme god in Shivaism, is most often worshiped as a lingam. It is a complex phallic symbol representing the original energy.

Complex esoterics, however, is also behind the extensive phallus worship in Bhutan. Explicitly depicted penises are a typical totem of good energy when moving into a new home. According to the Bhutanese belief, a unique relic of wooden penises cares for the well-being, health and peace in the family.

THE BAD

With the entry into the Middle Ages, the body lost its permission for pleasures and all its once worshiped attributes were forbidden, punished and disgraced. At least that was the way to make an impression in the eyes of the public. Lust has become dangerous, and the temptation was probably only stronger fort he same reason.

The church took control of the Law and people’s life. The so-called theological penis developed. The clergy taught that the purpose of sex was reproduction and the pleasure associated with it was negligible. Mentality that persists somewhere even today, in the Middle Ages taught that masturbation was a sin. Touching and exploring your own body is a ticket to hell.

Perhaps the most famous phallic depiction of that time is the so called Phallus Tree.

It is a motif depicting a tree with phalluses arranged across all it’s branches. The phalluses are shown in a variety of sizes, all in an erectile state and some even include the scrotum.

The phallus tree is a famous motif of that time in Western Europe. Its meaning is usually interpreted as the link between infertility and impotence on the one hand, and witchcraft and even Satanism on the other.

THE UGLY

Today, we can find explicit images of the male genitalia at every turn. The first sketches on freshly fallen snow, that well-known one-way outline on public and school toilets,… And uninvited messages, the so-called dick picks in the inbox, as an expression of modern flirting :/

Its value is often reduced to a “male joystick” or a feminist antithesis. The penis has also become a manifest organ of patriarchal society. All this negative and banalized connotation, however, deprives him of the altar value he once assigned.

Let's again worship phalluses!

Let us return these upright deities to our shelves, worshiping them as an ancient connection between man and woman. As a symbol of human life and connection with nature. Like a fluid life that changes form every day but is always in balance. It encourages us to rise upright when we fall and comforts us that even if we are not always full of power, it is nothing serious, as life is balance. Life is the constantly in changing.

S teboj je očitno nekaj narobe!

Her-O

»To se mi še nikoli ni zgodilo, da bi se tok matral na ženski, njej pa ob vsem tem trudu ne bi prišlo. To je nekaj narobe s teboj očitno,« mi je bilo rečeno s strani osebe, s katero imam danes le še prijateljski odnos.

Ko sem v tistem trenutku ležala ob njem in se počutila čisto prijetno in zadovoljno, moram priznat, da me je ta stavek precej pretresel in prizadel. Ne vem, če mi je na tisti točki sploh bilo do pogovora, v trenutku me je v mislih odneslo daleč stran in vedela sem, da nikoli več ne želim biti v odnosu, kjer se s takšnim komentarjem sploh moram ubadat.
Ta dogodek me je postavil na realna tla in še bolj sem se zavedla pomembnosti ozaveščanja oziroma diskurza na temo spolnosti in ženskega telesa.

Ne vem ali se je to zgodilo s pojavom interneta in neskončno preproste dostopnosti do pornografskih vsebin, ampak mislim, da je seks kot ga poznamo v porniču, za mnoge (predvsem mlade) postal nek vzgled kako bi seks in spolnost naj izgledala tudi v resnici. A so starši in šolski sistem s spolno vzgojo res tako zatajili, da je edini vzgled, ki mladim preostane, pornografski film? Kjer so ženske najpogosteje prikazane v podrejenem položaju, naličene, brez celulita, vitke, pobrite, ustrežljive, sladke… Kjer naletiš le na seks ali včasih na (zaigrano) ljubljenje, ki to v resnici ni.

Kakšno sporočilo to pošilja mladim odraščajočim ljudem, moškim in ženskam? Kakšne telesne in lepotne ideale te vsebine postavljajo? In kako to vpliva na partnerski odnos, na našo spolnost?

Tukaj še večjo težavo kot pornografske vsebine definitivno predstavljajo mediji ter popularna kultura, ki žensko predstavljajo v povsem nerealni podobi. Koliko najstnic zaradi želje po čim večjem ugajanju tej podobi razvije motnje prehranjevanja, slabo samopodobo in že v zgodnjih letih poseže po raznih lepotnih operacijah? S takšnim razmišljanjem bi prav vsaka izmed nas potrebovala kak poseg, izboljšavo ali spremembo. Vsi možni filtri na družbenih omrežjih in zretuširane podobe zvezdnic ter influencerk brišejo realnost naših teles. Ne dopuščajo nečiste kože, neobritih nog, mozoljev, podočnjakov, oblin – razen, če te niso ekstremno skoncentrirane na ritnicah.

Nihče ni popoln. Kaj sploh popolnost predstavlja? Popolnost je tako zelo subjektivna, vsake oči imajo drugačno predstavo o njej.
Zato je jasno sledeče: Vse obdelane in izumetničene instagram zgodbe ter objave gotovo ne predstavljajo realnega telesa ter načina življenja in se tako z njimi nihče zares ne more poistovetit.

Ujamemo se v krog, kjer hrepenimo po na videz vznemirljivem življenju, kot ga ‘živijo’ ljudje na družbenih omrežij. Ta življenja so tuja, zaigrana in hlinjena. Marsikdaj se počutimo, da so naša v primerjavi z njihovimi dolgočasna in manjvredna.

Pozabili smo kaj pomeni izjemnost vsakega posameznika. Da so naši interesi, strasti in posebnosti tiste, ki nas delajo zanimive in edinstvene. Da je lepota v tem, da se sprejmeš točno tak kakršen si in si s tem daš moč ter osebno zadovoljstvo.
Tako opolnomočeni smo veliko bolj privlačni in zanimivi. Okolici sporočamo, da smo zadovoljni s sabo in da nas ne ganejo umetne smernice, ki jim je tako ali tako nemogoče slediti in nas v resnici ne izpolnjujejo, ampak zgolj silijo naprej, k naslednjemu cilju ter vsiljeni družbeni identiteti. Vse to nas pušča prazne in večno neizpolnjene, saj s takšnim početjem ne zadovoljujemo pristnih sebe, ampak sledimo nečemu, kar je kolektivno mišljeno za estetsko.

Do tega sem prišla tudi sama v hipu, ko mi je bilo rečeno, da je z mano oziroma z mojim telesom nekaj narobe. Takrat sem vedela, da bo naslednja oseba, s katero bom intimna, spoštovala moje želje glede lastnega telesa in me ne bo neposredno ali posredno silila k obnašanju, ki mi je tuje in neprijetno. Videla bo, da uživam in ljubim, četudi ‘mi ne pride’ in zaradi tega se ne bo počutila ogroženo, manj ‘moško’ oziroma manj sposobno.

Pogosto se sprašujem koliko moški zares poznajo naša telesa? Koliko jih poznamo me same?
Mnogokrat sem se počutila, kot da je z menoj in mojim telesom kaj narobe, da morda kaj počnem ali razumem narobe. Ampak skozi pogovore s prijateljicami in prebiranjem blogov ter člankov sem ugotovila, da je vse kar doživljam povsem normalno.
Danes vem, da nekatere ženske nikoli ne doživijo orgazma, druge ga lahko doživijo le z masturbacijo. Nekaterim ga ne prinese penetracija, ampak kakšna druga oblika draženja in podobno.
Pred tem raziskovanjem sem se mnogokrat počutila zelo osamljeno v nekaterih svojih občutkih. In želim si, da bi bila o tovrstnih temah poučena že mnogo prej, v najstniških letih.

Skratka – postalo mi je jasno, da ni recepta in pravil. In ko je to spoznanje resnično prišlo do mene, sem lahko spustila nekatere zadržke in strahove ter lažje zadihala. Vsako telo je namreč unikatno in se različno odziva na dražljaje, njihovo intenzivnost ter način draženja. Ženske potrebujemo nežnost in pozornost, kar je včasih veliko pomembneje od samega seksa ali orgazma.

Danes vem, da nekatere ženske nikoli ne doživijo orgazma, druge ga lahko doživijo le z masturbacijo. Nekaterim ga ne prinese penetracija, ampak kakšna druga oblika draženja in podobno.

Mene veliko bolj napolni to, da pogledam partnerju v oči in vem, da me povsem sprejema, ima rad ter me želi osrečit. Seks oziroma odnos je potem zgolj češnja na vrhu torte.

Komaj ko se resnično sprejmeš, se lahko povsem predaš in takrat bo prišla oseba, ki te bo zares Videla ter čutila. Ki ji bo jasno, da so porniči fake seks in da se človeka, ki se spoštujeta ter imata rada, ljubita.

In ne, z mano ni nič narobe!

Penis- the good, the bad and the ugly

Her-O

Že odkar spremlja moške je jasno, da je penis več kot le del telesa. Sprehod skozi zgodovino nam pokaže božanstveni kult čaščenja penisa oziroma faličnosti.

THE GOOD

Raziskovalce je pred nekaj leti presenetila najdba v Nemčiji. Odkrili so do sedaj najstarejšo falično upodobitev. Gre za 19 cm visok in skoraj 3 cm širok natančno zbrušen kamen v obliki falusa. Njegova uporaba ni natančno določena, vendar znanstveniki ne izključujejo, da je morda služil tudi kot seks pripomoček. Starost najdbe ocenjujejo na približno 28000 let.

Znane so tudi nekoliko mlajše jamske upodobitve erektilnega penisa, simbola življenja, tolmačenega celo kot kreatorja Univerzuma.

Vemo, da so različna ljudstva skozi zgodovino zelo slikovito in bolj ali manj eksplicitno upodabljala moške spolne ude.

Stari Egipčani so v erektilni podobi penisa prepoznali plodnost. Boga plodnosti je ponazarjal tudi Oziris, čigar legenda pravi, da so bili njegovi posmrtni deli raztrošeni širom Egipta, razen penisa, ki ga je pojedla riba. Kljub temu je Ozirisova žena uspela zbrati dele in ga oživeti. Namesto zgubljenega penisa pa mu je poklonila leseno repliko. Kasneje pa naj bi celo uspešno zanosila.

Eno najzgodnejših egipčanskih božanstev, Min, tako imenovano itifalično bitje, je bilo upodobljeno z ogromnim pokončnim penisom, ki ga drži v rokah.

Stari Grki niso skrivali navdušenja nad spolnostjo in njene užitke zajemali z veliko žlico. Tako ni bilo nič presenetljivega ko so med arheološkim izkopavanjem starodavnih Pompejev odkrili kopico penisov.

Še danes se stanje boleče in dolgotrajne erekcije imenuje »priapizem«. Izraz izhaja iz imena grškega boga plodnosti, Priapusa, ki je upodobljen z nesorazmerno velikim penisom. Priapus naj bi imel v Pompejih celo svoj kult, predvsem pa je bilo na njegov račun odkritih veliko upodobljenih kipcev falične oblike. Dimniki, zvonci, trkala… vse v erektilni obliki penisa.

V rimskem stranišču v Turčiji so odkrili mozaik mladeniča, ki drži pokončni penilni ud. Šlo naj bi za Narcisa, le da je v tej upodobitvi njegova pozornost popolnoma usmerjena v svoj pokončen falus.

Dinamika upodabljanja falusov v stari Grčiji in Rimu je bila precej raznolika.

Grška povezanost z estetiko je narekovala upodobitev manjših falusov. Široka ramena, močne prsi, svetla polt in- majhen penis. To je bil starogrški estetski ideal. Veliki penisi so se smatrali za groteskne. Zevs in Pozejdon, oba prikazana s popolnim atletskim telesom, imata prav tako tudi dovršeno mednožje, popolnoma izklesana manjša penisa ter anatomsko skoraj preveč pravilni modi.

Kaj vse te upodobitve pomenijo je zagotovo podvrženo mnogim psihoanalitičnim in zgodovinskim interpretacijam. Jasno je, da je falus skozi zgodovino povezan s plodnostjo in rodovitnostjo. Brez obojega se življenje konča, zato je penis kot tak tudi stvaritelj življenja. K nebu segajoče penilno telo je povezano s pokončnostjo in celo integriteto. Pri starih Grkih morda nakazuje na homoerotično vzdušje ali pa kaže celo na posmeh lastni mitologiji.

Kult čaščenja penisa pa je zagotovo doživel vrhunec tudi v Aziji in na Indijskem polotoku. Šiva, vrhovni bog v šivaizmu, se najpogosteje časti kot lingam. To je kompleksen falični simbol, ki predstavlja prvotno energijo.

Kompleksna ezoterika pa je tudi v ozadju obširnega čaščenja falusov v Butanu. Eksplicitno upodobljeni penisi so značilni totem dobre energije ob vselitvi v novo domovanje. Svojevrstna relikvija lesenih penisov pa po butanskem prepričanju skrbi za blaginjo, zdravje in mir v družini.

THE BAD

Z vstopom v srednji vek je telo izgubilo dovoljenje za užitke in vsi njegovi nekoč čaščeni atributi so bili prepovedani, kaznovani in sramotni. Vsaj takšen je bilo potrebno dajati vtis v očeh javnosti. Poželenje je postalo nevarno in skušnjava verjetno ravno zato še bolj mikavna.

Cerkev je prevzela nadzor nad Zakonom in zakonom. Razvil se je tako imenovani teološki penis. Duhovščina je učila, da je namen seksa razmnoževanje in s tem povezan užitek je bil zanemarljiv. Mišljenje, ki ponekod vztraja še danes, je v srednjem veku učilo, da je masturbacija greh. Dotikanje in raziskovanje lastnega telesa pa vstopnica v pekel.

Morda najbolj znana falična upodobitev tistega časa je Drevo falusov. Gre za motiv, ki prikazuje drevo, s falusi razporejenimi po vseh vejah. Falusi so različnih velikosti, vsi v erektilnem stanju in vključujejo celo skrotum. Drevo falusov je znan motiv tistega časa v zahodni Evropi. Njegov pomen je po navadi interpretiran kot povezava med neplodnostjo in impotenco na eni, ter čarovništvom in celo satanizmom na drugi strani.

THE UGLY

Danes lahko najdemo eksplicitne podobe moškega spolnega uda na vsakem koraku. Prva skica na sveže zapadlem snegu, tisti vsem znani enopotezni oris na javnih in šolskih WC-jih,… Pa nepovabljena sporočila, tako imenovani dick picksi v inboxu, kot izraz sodobnega flirtanja :/

Njegova vrednost je pogostokrat zreducirana zgolj na »moški joystick«, ali pa na feministični antitotem. Penis je postal tudi manifestni organ patriarhalne družbe. Vsa ta negativna in zbanalizirana konotacija pa mu odvzema nekoč dodeljeno oltarsko vrednost.

Zato častimo faluse!

Vrnimo ta pokončna božanstva na naše police, častimo jih kot pradavno povezanost med moškim in žensko. Kot simbol življenja in povezanosti človeka z naravo. Kot fluidno življenje, ki spreminja formo vsak dan, vendar je vedno v ravnovesju. Nas opogumlja, da se pokončno dvignemo, ko pademo in nas tolaži, da tudi če nismo vedno polni moči, ni to nič hudega, saj življenje je ravnovesje. Življenje je neprestano spreminjanje.

Ožeta limonica in zadavljen petelin

Her-O

Zadavljen petelin

Po nekaterih podatkih se dečki prvič samozadovoljijo, ko so stari 12 let. Največkrat niti ne vedo, kaj počnejo, le sledijo gibom ugodja. Nekateri že nekaj let prej ali pa tudi kakšno kasneje še tavajo v nevednosti, kaj je njihovo telo sposobno in od kod izvirajo ti prijetni občutki.

Progresivno usmerjene mamice s svojimi sinovi seveda brezsramno in opolnomočeno spregovorijo o tem. Veš Miha, včasih se bo zgodilo, da če se boš dotaknil svoje lulčka, te bo nekaj zaščemelo pod trebuščkom, kot da bi ti mravljice zlezle v hlačke. To je popolnoma normalno.

Tudi v zrelejših letih se moški redno samozadovoljujejo. Ob tem se je tekom opisovanja početja dejanja, prijelo nemalo izrazov. Vsi so seveda zelo tehnično nazorni, žargon pa precej obrtniški. Šibniti, ožeti, zadaviti, izmolsti, zbrusiti..pa še nekaj bolj vulgarnih. Petelina, prijatelja, spodnjo glavo, kačo, anakondo…odvisno seveda s čim se najbolj poistovetite.

Masturbacija je pri moških docela sprejeta. Tako tekom odraščanja, kot skozi celotno odraslo življenje. Pri samskih, poročenih, razvezanih, gejih in straight. Je pač del moške kulture, je zdrava, naravna in normalna. Pride skupaj s penisom. Skupaj z naborom besed in metafor, ki bolj ali manj nazorno opišejo onaniranje.

Veš Miha, včasih se bo zgodilo, da če se boš dotaknil svoje lulčka, te bo nekaj zaščemelo pod trebuščkom, kot da bi ti mravljice zlezle v hlačke. To je popolnoma normalno.

Ožeta limonica

Kaj pa dekleta?

Veš Mojca, ko boš v 7. razredu pri športni vzgoji plezala po vrvi, se zna zgoditi, da boš bolj kot na napor pozorna na prijeten občutek, ki ga vrv povzroča med nogami.

No, tega pogovora seveda ni bilo. Na srečo, kajti od sramu bi se ugreznila v pod. je pa plezanje po vrvi postal moj najljubši del športne vzgoje. Zakaj je tako prijetno, mi je postalo jasno šele skozi čas.

Od tistih prijetnih trenutkov športne vzgoje, je do rednega samozadovoljevanja preteklo še kar nekaj časa. Prav veliko se o tem nisem pogovarjala z nikomer, pa tudi potrebe po tem ni bilo. Seveda, to je nekaj intimnega, nekaj mojega, nekaj…česar me je morda sram?

Seks je povsod, seks je vse

Ko se je tekom mojega odraščanja govorilo o spolnosti, se je predvsem o zaščiti pred nosečnostjo, pa o preventivi pred spolno prenosljivimi boleznimi, pa o seksu. Tistemu, ko moški s svojim penisom prodre v vagino. Kaj, morda poznate še kakšnega? Masturbacijo se je omenjalo le kot fantovsko “opravilo”. Hej, naj vas opozorim, da to ni bilo v nekem drugem veku 😉

Seveda so danes časi drugačni. In seks je povsod, seks je vse. Že nekaj let se mi zdi, da se dogaja huda pornifikacija intimnosti in pogleda na seks. Če je morda nekoč držalo: povej mi, s kom seksaš in povem ti, kdo si, je danes bolj primerno: povej mi, kako se pogovarjaš o seksu in povem ti kdo si. Zdi se, da tabuji padajo, vse je dovoljeno, vse je tolerirano, vse nas opolnomoči. Odprti smo do vsega. V ozadje te odprtosti pa smo začeli potiskati spoštljive pogovore o intimnosti, občutkih, fantazijah, hrepenenjih, občutenjih. O (samo)zadovoljevanju, fizičnemu in psihičnemu. In le to vse skupaj je tisti pravi seks, o katerem bi morali govoriti več. Z besedami, katerim je treba odvzeti prostaško ali pa morda celo hihitajočo konotacijo.

Dobrodošli torej, let’s talk about sex!

Pages:12 »